


Rainbows

by Mostly_Angst_Whoops



Series: Living Up To My Username [1]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: A wedding!, Angst, M/M, Multi, Weather metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 02:15:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11819109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mostly_Angst_Whoops/pseuds/Mostly_Angst_Whoops
Summary: Laurens receives a letter from Hamilton





	Rainbows

**Author's Note:**

> How gay is the title lmao

John’s eyes flickered over the piece of paper in his hands for what seemed like the eightieth time. That’s all it was. A piece of paper. Sure, the sides were embellished in gold leaf that probably cost much more than he was worth, and it was the thick paper that just screamed “I’m expensive,” but that’s all it was. A piece of paper. He blinked away the tears in his eyes.  


The ink on the paper flowed beautifully, expert penmanship that would’ve taken years of practice. He knew that Alexander was the one to write it, even before reading it. Alexander had always loved the fancy calligraphy sets that Laurens had given him, and the words felt so much like Alexander. The ink was storm clouds across the white paper. The gold leaf was the sunshine. He hated to admit how well they went together. 

Laurens sighed softly. 

Lafayette was sunshine: bright and happy. That’s what every minute with Laf felt like. Leaning against his chest, kissing his jaw, being picked up and twirled around by him. Laurens’ smile belonged to Lafayette. 

When he was kissed, it felt like being drowned in happiness. He’d be a balloon, floating up, up, up and away from all of his problems. He’d look at Lafayette with nothing but love in his eyes, and Laf would share the look with him before pulling him in for another kiss. 

Laurens can still remember the time Lafayette took him to a meadow riddled with yellow dandelions. Laurens had horrible allergies, and had been coughing the entire time, but it had been worth it to roll around in the flowers with Laf, carefree and wonderful. Laf fussed about his stuffy nose the entire way home, and Laurens loved the feeling of being cared for. 

For some reason, it wasn’t enough for him. Storm clouds still distracted him from his sunshine. He and Laf broke up, still the best of friends.

Alexander was different. Everyone had always called him a hurricane, a force of nature, but Laurens had always seen him as a single storm cloud. There’d be lightening sometimes, but for the most part, it felt like a steady shower. Alexander was constant, hardworking, wonderful. Instead of the floaty feeling Laf had given him, Alexander made him feel grounded, like he was meant to do something. Alexander would help Laurens with whatever he needed, and he wasn’t one to go frolicking through a meadow of dandelions. To Laurens, a storm cloud wasn’t a bad thing. It washed away everything that seemed to be bothering him, and he was instead met with a constant thrum of affection and love. 

When they kissed, it was lightning and thunder and it went straight to Laurens’ heart. He could feel it pounding faster. He could feel himself pushing closer to Alexander. He loved it. 

But it wasn’t enough. 

He didn’t want to ruin his relationship with Alexander, so they broke it off peacefully, and Alexander moved on. Laurens never did.

When he looked back, Laurens never did get over Lafayette in the first place. He didn’t get over Alexander.

He wanted them both. 

He wanted to be wrapped up in both the storm and the sunshine, tucked into the beautiful rainbow they created. 

He wasn’t getting them now. 

Life moved on. 

Lafayette and Alexander seemed to realize that the sun and rain were so much better together than alone. The first time that Laurens had seen them kissing, it stopped his heart. He couldn’t say that he wasn’t happy, though. They were perfect for each other, and they were beautiful to look at together. He smiled, despite the heartbreak.

“Wanted to get your opinion on something,” Alexander said, shifting nervously. 

Laurens smiled at him. “Anything. Shoot.”

“Is it too early to propose to Laf?” Alexander asked. “It’s only been two years, but…”

Alexander’s voice slowly faded out, and all Laurens could think about was how amazing it had been to kiss the storm in front of him. The storm that was no longer his. He closed his eyes. He wanted Alexander to be happy. 

“You should totally do it,” Laurens said. It felt like he wasn’t the person saying it. The voice seemed to come from miles away. 

He could feel himself hugging Alexander, a soft kiss on his cheek, and the storm was suddenly gone, leaving a disaster in its wake. 

Lafayette was the next to approach him, and Laurens wouldn’t lie about how his stomach twisted as he saw the ring on Laf’s finger, sparkling in the sunlight. Laf grinned and thrusted the rainbow of colors right in front of him. It was a single diamond, but each facet held a different hue, and they blended together into something amazing. 

Laurens forced himself to smile, hugging Laf. He gently kissed Laf’s shoulder. “Don’t forget about me when you’re off with your Alexander.”

“I would never,” Laf consoled. “Thank you for everything, John.”

There seemed to be a hint of something else in Laf’s eyes, but Laurens had no idea what it was. 

Laf invited Laurens over for dinner with him and Alexander. Laurens refused. The sunshine was suddenly gone from his life as well. 

He wasn’t even sure what he had been expecting in the first place. That the rainbow get split into two again? That he’d get his sunshine or his storm back? Maybe that he’d get them both?

It was impossible. 

They had both moved on, and Laurens was left behind. He looked back at the paper in front of him, running his finger over the gold leaf on the edges,- definitely Laf’s idea- letting a tear slip out and blot the ink. 

_My dear Jack,_

_Thank you for all that you have done. I invite you to join Lafayette and I for our wedding. Laf asked me to be formal, so I can’t swear in this card, but I sure as heck will be swearing when I text you about how ~~fu~~ effing excited I am! Anyway, details on the back. Can’t wait to see you! (Be my best man pls)_

_Adieu,_

_Alexander._

The happiness seeped through the invitation. Laurens smiled at Alexander’s enthusiasm, wiping his own tears from his eyes. The two loves of his life were getting everything they ever wanted, and he was getting left behind. 

He ripped the paper, collapsing onto the bed and letting the tears stream down his face. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up: @hamilton-angst  
> Comments and Kudoes make me smile :)


End file.
